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| This movie, much like Facebook, needs a dislike button. |
Horror films are an interesting genre. Horror movies are one of the most varied and flexible films out there. There are horror movies about monsters, slashers, aliens, ghosts, zombies, mental illness, and everything in between. The "found footage" genre of horror is one of the most polarizing on the planet, mostly because of how different it is from traditional filmmaking. The style can either suck you into a film, or do the exact opposite depending on how you like it. I personally think that, while it can sometimes be cheap way to save money on good cinematographers, it can also be used to great effect, a fact demonstrated by the Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, and other such movies.
With that in mind, let's talk about Unfriended. This movie takes place on the computer screen of the main character, Blair, and the film plays out like a recording of the events taking place on her desktop. This style hasn't really been attempted before, so there was a chance to create a new form of found footage. A chance to create a unique and interesting cinematic experience. A chance to be a trendsetter.
This chance was not taken.
This movie is extremely obnoxious, supremely unlikable, and straight-up boring for the majority of it. I was not scared or disturbed by this movie in the slightest. I was only annoyed and pained. Let me tell you about how bad this movie is, if you'd be so inclined to listen.
The movie revolves around an hour-long Skype call between a group of "friends" on the anniversary of the day a former member of their posse committed suicide over an embarrassing YouTube video about her that one of them apparently posted. Now, I want you to guess what events take place during this movie. Get a series of events in your head. OK? Go.
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OK, you got a plot in mind? Good. That's exactly what happens in the movie. Because if you've seen any movie involving ghosts and groups of people, you know every single event that will conspire in this film. Spooky things start happening with Blair's browser, a mysterious caller joins the Skype conversation, people start dying, secrets are unveiled as the movie progresses, dumb decisions are made by our protagonists, and it just goes on and on and on.
If this was any other movie involving spirits and teenagers then it probably wouldn't be worth my time or a post on this blog. However, this is not any ghost movie, oh no. This movie's biggest downfall is in the execution of the Skype call style. The idea of viewing a series of events from the perspective of one's computer screen has been done well before, like on TV shows or YouTube videos. The style works there because it's only going on for 22 minutes or less. This is a good concept for a short little sketch. It's a downright absurd concept for an 82-minute long movie.
Have you ever had a Skype call with several people, all talking at once? Imagine doing that for 82 minutes with some of the most obnoxious and unlikable people n the planet and you've got Unfriended in a nutshell. Just add some paranormal nonsense and a thin layer of plot and you've got a great recipe for a complete and utter mess of a film on par with the worst creepypastas.
Every character in this movie is a complete and utter douchebag, doing horrible things to one another in secret, and goading their ex-friend into ending her life. They express dislike toward people within their group behind their backs. They make you root for the antagonist when we're clearly supposed to root for Blair. This is one of the biggest problems with many a horror film, but this movie really showcases how bad it can get.
Speaking of how bad it can get, let's talk about this movie's "scary" moments. I say "scary" in quotations because there are no scares to be found. Despite the strange format, this movie's attempt at terrorizing the audience are about as effective as a small child going "BOO!" wearing a white sheet on Halloween. We've got everything. Jumpscares? Check. Computers not following the users' commands? Check. Characters being commanded like puppets? Check. Spooky messages being sent via Skype? Check. It's not scary. It's been done before. It's just pointless.
If I were to give the movie anything I suppose the acting is good for the most part. Blair's actress in particular is very good at looking terrified, even if the movie doesn't give her much reason to be.
I also did laugh sometimes, particularly when the ghost, Laura, just seems to be screwing with our main characters. She makes memes out of her dead victims, and uses songs from Blair's Spotify just for fun. It's actually kind of funny, and I had a good chuckle over her playing "How You Lie Lie Lie" by Connie Conway after one of Blair's secrets was revealed.
Unfortunately, that is not enough to save this movie from its' horrendous writing and preposterous execution. It's annoying, it's not scary, and it just made me want to smash my TV by the end of it. Unfriended is a terrible creepypasta-turned piece of Cinematic Garbage.
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