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| He's surely asleep. What? He let this movie come into existence. |
Y'know, before I started this blog I thought that these movies would just baffle and bore me. I always thought that a bad movie was just an unpleasant experience that wouldn't leave a great impact on my life one way or the other. I thought this would be easy, seeking out the worst of the worst.
But today, my friends, I was proven wrong. So, so wrong. God's Not Dead may be the worst movie I've ever seen. This film enraged me. It made me cringe and stir in my seat the whole way through. It made me physically uncomfortable by just watching it. It was an atrocious piece of crap that deserves to be ridiculed and torn apart as much as it has been. It's hateful, seething load of bile and acid bubbling in a cauldron of self-righteousness and victimization...and yet, it was a box office success, so much so that a sequel was made 2 years later. That is unacceptable.
Well, my friends, it's time to rip God's not Dead a new one.
Before we begin, I would just like to say that my thoughts on religion have nothing to do with my thoughts on this movie. This is a very biased and politically charged film and so you might think that I'm hating on it just because I disagree. That is not true. This is just a horrendous piece of cinema and I'm here to share its horror with you all. With that out of the way, let's discuss the plot.
The film revolves around college student Josh Wheaton (no relation to the director of the Avengers...sure) who is a devout Christian and attending a philosophy class run by Professor Radisson, a very...insistent anti-theist. Raddison forces his students to write "GOD IS DEAD" on a piece of paper, and they're all OK with it except for good ol' Josh. Because of his refusal to renounce his faith, Radisson challenges Josh to a debate about the existence of God. If Josh wins, then he passes the course. If Radisson wins, then he fails.
Meanwhile, a liberal blogger named Amy is stricken with cancer and loses her jerkass boyfriend because he's a jerkass. She is now on a journey to find a way to cure her cancer. Guess what that is?
Meanwhile, a Muslim girl named Ayisha is secretly worshiping Jesus when her very traditional father (who makes her cover her face in public yet lets her wear a short-sleeved t-shirt) isn't around.
Meanwhile, Reverend Dave is having the weakest crisis of faith ever as he and his friend from Africa (whose name I forget, but there's so many characters in this movie you can't really blame me) are trying to take a trip to Disneyland. Only problem? Every car they try to drive breaks down on them.
MEANWHILE, A Chinese exchange student named Martin is beginning to discover Jesus, much to the dismay of his father, a member of the Communist Party.
MEANWHILE, Radisson's girlfriend feels ignored and dismayed by him and tries to find a solution to this problem.
In case you couldn't tell, this movie is a bit cluttered. It has about 15 different sub-plots and not one of them has enough focus to make it interesting. Each of these sub-plots feels incredibly brief, beginning in one scene, being forgotten about for most of the movie, and then showing up near the end to be resolved out of nowhere.
The only plotline that feels like it has any impact is the conflict between Josh and Radisson, and even that feels horribly forced. The entire thing could have been avoided if Josh had just gone to the dean, and explained that Radisson was imposing his views on the students! But no, instead we need a debate sub-plot so our young, attractive protagonist can act as a soapbox for the writers and directors, spewing their arguments for why God exists without hearing the other side because that's how debate works.
This movie is clearly trying to be the religious equivalent of a movie like Crash or Short Cuts, featuring a lot of short stories that interconnect with one another somehow. The main problem with this movie is that none of the stories are interesting and most of the characters are bland and boring.
The only character in this movie that feels real and relateable is Radisson, and he's supposed to be the antagonist! Though, that's probably because every other character is as bland as tofu. Josh is a boring, attractive protagonist who's willing to sacrifice his future and career, not to mention end his relationship with his girlfriend of six years, because God wants him to vouch for him in one university classroom.
Radisson feels like the only sympathetic character because he is actually given a back story and reason for believing what he believes. Everyone else is either an all-good believer in Jesus, or an evil/misguided non-believer in Jesus.
Another reason Radisson is the only character who's enjoyable is the fact that the actor playing him, Kevin Sorbo, is legitimately talented, unlike everyone else in the movie. I haven't seen any other cast members in anything other than this movie, and that's probably for the best. They play their roles so blandly that it's a miracle they made it past the audition process.
But the worst part about this movie isn't its poor writing, or acting, or story. No no no. The worst part of this movie is its' hateful spirit. As I mentioned before, every character falls into one of two categories: good and righteous Christian, or misguided and mean non-Christian with no in between. If you think you're going to find something to like if you're not a hardcore Christian, you're going to be majorly disappointed.
When Aisha's father finds out about her being a Christian he beats her before throwing it our of their house. Amy's boyfriend is depicted as a jerkass atheist with no sympathy for anyone. Radisson, as I mentioned before, is the antagonist of the film, abusing his power as a professor to force his viewpoint on his students.
This movie is so hateful and spiteful that I felt uncomfortable sitting through it. I had to physically keep myself from bolting from my chair while watching. This movie isn't going to convert anyone or make anybody appreciate Jesus. It's just going to make you angry. It was made for a very particular audience to feel persecuted and have their viewpoint reinforced. That's the entire purpose the movie.
It's propaganda, plain and simple. Please, for the love of God, do not watch this movie! I hated it! I despise it! I never EVER want to see this movie again!
This is my message to all sane people in the world: Stay far, far away from God's Not Dead!
God's Not Dead is an unholy sin against moviegoers everywhere, and belongs in the pits of Hell alongside all other pieces of Cinematic Garbage!
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